Home-Part 2

Speaker 1 00:00:02 Welcome to Chicago Musician. I'm your host, Shawn Stengel. This is Part 2 of the Home episode, the episode dealing with letting go of our family household in Brainerd, Minnesota after over 50 years as our family home. In the earlier part, Part 1, I talked to the younger generation. Now it's time to hear from my siblings and I and my parents themselves. So meanwhile, back at the ranch. . . Speaker 1 00:00:50 It's been a couple of months, actually, since I recorded in Brainerd over a Memorial Day weekend. Life caught up to me and I had to go back to work. Imagine the humiliation of that. I'm kidding! It's been delightful. But I'm just now getting around to editing and putting together the second part of the Home episode. Fortunately, most things in life have been pretty stable this summer. My parents are still doing well. My siblings have been home a couple times already since Memorial Day. We keep, you know, pressing forward in life. So this'll be fun. This is Randy and Wendy and I plus their spouses, Karen and Phil, and then mom and dad. You know, mom and dad, dad who can hardly speak and mom who doesn't remember too much. But I thought it was important to put them in here. It's nice to hear their voices even, just as they are now. It's kind of sad and revealing and then also, uh, I think, quite sweet at other points. So, I've pretty much left my discussions mostly unedited. I liked the conversations I had with each of the people in this episode. It might be a little long, but I think it's revealing and worthwhile. So let's start off with my sister-in-law, Speaker 1 00:02:52 Karen Marie Stengel, whose name isn't actually Karen Marie, but it is to me. She's my favorite sister-in-law, married to my brother, Randy. Hi Karen. Speaker 2 00:03:02 Hi, Shawn. Speaker 1 00:03:03 What do you think of our weekend gathering so far? Speaker 2 00:03:07 This has been wonderful. I think everybody's enjoyed it. And there's been a lot of laughter and good stories and general silliness, which I'd expect nothing less from a Stengel gathering. Speaker 1 00:03:19 Yeah. I mean, we don't know that this is the last hurrah at this house, although it seems likely. Speaker 2 00:03:26 Yeah, I think you're Speaker 1 00:03:28 Right. So there's a melancholy too. Speaker 2 00:03:30 Yeah. You see it with your folks. They both get, uh, they're a little emotional about different things that they see in the house or as they walk through the rooms. Speaker 1 00:03:41 Yeah. But, just for the listeners, we moved my parents to senior living last October. So this is really the first weekend we've brought them back to the house, even though it's 1.25 miles away, it's sort of a lifetime away. But their reaction so far has been mostly positive. Just the feeling of this. Yeah. They've lived here for 56 years. Speaker 2 00:04:04 Well, your mom talks about all the happy memories and it's just overwhelming for her. And for your mom, that's kind of a big statement to make. Cuz she keeps things pretty close. Speaker 1 00:04:16 Yeah. She's not the overtly emotional one. Like my father. No. Do you have a first memory of coming here? Speaker 2 00:04:27 Uh, it would've been when we were in college. Um, that first time I came, I remember being absolutely surprised you had no garage, just this slab of concrete. Shocking. I know. Well, every Speaker 1 00:04:42 Everyone in Minnesota Speaker 2 00:04:43 Is in Minnesota to not have a garage was really unusual. And you guys, Speaker 1 00:04:48 You guys did. So we were even whiter trash than you were expecting. <laugh> Speaker 2 00:04:52 I didn't say that. <laugh> Speaker 1 00:04:54 I did. Speaker 2 00:04:56 Yeah. I just thought that was very, very unusual. And then before, well, this was before the, the addition to the kitchen and you walked into the house and the dining room table was like right at the door. And it was like this teeny tiny little kitchen. Speaker 1 00:05:16 It wasn't a 'dining room table', by the way, it was a kitchen table. Yeah. Crammed into the corner at an angle. Speaker 2 00:05:21 And then whoever was sitting at the head, you could literally turn around and the toaster was behind you. You didn't even have to get up to make your toast. You just popped it down. Speaker 1 00:05:34 On the other end of the table, if you were seated and the paper boy came to collect, you had to stand up, move the chair to open the door. So it was quite the, Speaker 2 00:05:43 It was cozy Speaker 1 00:05:43 Speaker 2 00:05:45 It was something. Speaker 1 00:05:46 When was the time we drove here? You and me when your hood of your VW Speaker 2 00:05:51 My VW bug, yeah. It flew up Speaker 1 00:05:54 in our face? Speaker 2 00:05:55 It would've been before we were. . .were we married already? Speaker 1 00:05:59 You and I were not. No, Speaker 2 00:06:00 No, we we've never been married! Oh, that's right. I don't remember Speaker 1 00:06:05 when we were coming. Speaker 2 00:06:06 Speaker 1 00:06:07 Were we coming for Wendy's Speaker 2 00:06:08 graduation? Okay. Speaker 1 00:06:10 But why I was driving with you from North Branch? I don't remember. Speaker 2 00:06:15 I think that was the only way you could get home. (From the 'U') Speaker 1 00:06:18 Oh, you picked me up. Speaker 2 00:06:20 I think I picked you Speaker 1 00:06:20 up and you and I drove. Speaker 2 00:06:22 And we were between Cambridge and Princeton on highway 95? I can't remember. 25? Anyway. . . and a big semi went by and the hood of my car flew up Speaker 1 00:06:41 as we were going 60 plus miles an hour. Speaker 2 00:06:44 Yeah. Because we were really needing to get there on time. And that had to be one of the scariest things for both of us. Speaker 1 00:06:53 I saw a couple of very close mailboxes. Oh my God. And yeah. And as I remember, it was not light traffic even for way out in nowhere land. Yeah. That was pretty. . . I still have a pretty clear vision of that in my head. Whoa. Speaker 2 00:07:08 And then I think we got ourselves to Princeton? And then I think we had to call. . . Speaker 1 00:07:15 Did Randy come and get us? Speaker 2 00:07:16 Yes, Randy came and got us. Speaker 1 00:07:18 Yeah. And we still sort of got back in time-ish. Speaker 2 00:07:21 And somehow the car had to get back to North Branch. Or did it go to North Branch? Where did it go? It got towed somewhere. I don't even remember where it went towed. But that was an awful car. It had no heat for the winter. It was just awful. Maybe the new VWs are better. I don't know. But that was a car that I was happy to be rid of! Speaker 1 00:07:43 <laugh>. Do you remember the first or one of the first Christmases being here? When, say, Matthew was born? Speaker 2 00:07:54 I don't necessarily remember any of that. I think that first year that we came, we, I mean, we did Christmas in North Branch with my family and then I think we came over maybe Christmas Day. And I just remember thinking you had the wrong kind of Christmas tree. Ooh. Yeah. Speaker 1 00:08:14 Which was what? Speaker 2 00:08:15 Well, you had little short needles. You had like the. . . Speaker 1 00:08:18 Probably a spruce, I'm guessing Speaker 2 00:08:21 It was. Yeah. And it was like, that was just wrong cuz we always had long needle trees. Speaker 1 00:08:26 Oh and that, so that was. . . Speaker 2 00:08:28 We negotiated it and he did it my way. That's right. Speaker 1 00:08:31 That's fine. Marriage is about compromise or doing it Karen's way. Speaker 2 00:08:36 Yeah. Yeah. Not always. Not if you're involved. If you're involved, it's your way! <laugh> But no, it was, I mean the traditions were a little different, but it was always very meaningful and there was always a lot of laughter, which was just a delight for me. Speaker 1 00:08:54 This house. . . we've had a lot of good laughs in it. Speaker 2 00:08:57 Yes we have. We've also had, you know, our share of tears, things that have, have happened and, and that have been challenging and you know, through it all, your folks have just been such important people in my life. There were times where your mom was my sounding board. I don't know how I would've gone gotten through some of the experiences that we were dealing with as a young couple, you know, losing my dad at a young age, and our struggles with infertility. and things. Your dad. . . some of my best memories with him are picking berries. Hmm. You know, that was always something that he and I did. Speaker 1 00:09:46 The raspberry patch. Speaker 2 00:09:46 Yes, the raspberry patch, but then when we'd come up here for 4th of July, he and I would always go find a place where you could pick your own strawberries. So we'd pick and talk. And it was, I mean the topics ranged from A to Z. So it was always great. Speaker 1 00:10:05 They are sort of remarkable people for being exactly for who they purport to be. Mm-hmm <affirmative>. Speaker 2 00:10:14 Yeah. Yeah. And that was always an important thing for me to have them be that kind of stable role model. Speaker 1 00:10:23 Well, your dad died how long after you guys were married? Speaker 2 00:10:28 Matthew was about three. So he died like in '87. He was 62. Speaker 1 00:10:39 Your dad was 62? Speaker 2 00:10:40 He was 62. I'm older than he is Speaker 1 00:10:42 Now. Oh, that hurts to hear now. Yeah. Isn't that shocking? Speaker 2 00:10:45 Yeah, it was, I mean, we knew he was sick and we knew that his time was limited. It was the early days of treatments for colon cancer and, uh, Speaker 1 00:10:56 there weren't too many Speaker 2 00:10:57 options. There weren't too many. And he had let it go too long. But you know, we were married in '79 and Matthew came along in '84. So it was about '87. It was, uh, it was a hard. It was a hard time in my life, Speaker 1 00:11:14 Especially cuz your dad was, he was a character. Oh yeah. That was a big personality. Speaker 2 00:11:20 Yeah. But you know, unlike your dad, my father was not mister emotional. He was all, it was all intellect kind of stuff and logical. And so what I got from your dad was that heartfelt emotion. And your mom was just someone that I could always share my deepest fears and thoughts and worries. In a way I couldn't with my own mom. Speaker 1 00:11:51 Without too much judgment. Speaker 2 00:11:55 Never. Speaker 1 00:11:57 I even. . . when you're saying that, I'm thinking my mom didn't. . . I don't remember her giving me attitude. Like if it was something and not that we had too many heart to hearts, but like just in support, Speaker 2 00:12:13 That was something that I always admired about them as parents is that they supported their kids. They let you lead your life. They may not have agreed, but you weren't necessarily ever going to know that. They just, they knew it was important for you to live your life Speaker 1 00:12:35 On so many levels. Mm-hmm <affirmative> I mean, I think of my father who grew up with no real relationship to the arts and, you know, except for church choir or something, and how he supported Wendy and me through theater and band and choir, like our biggest fan. Totally. He reminds me of in a way of my brother-in-law upstairs, Phil. Mm-hmm <affirmative> who is such a big fan of his kids and, you know, Pete's ventures into music. Yeah. And not a thing that he grew up with, but he's figured out how to love it. Speaker 2 00:13:15 Well, because it's important to his kids. Speaker 1 00:13:17 Well, hello, Karen! Baseball! Speaker 2 00:13:19 <laugh> yes. Yes I Speaker 1 00:13:22 either chose to love baseball, or Speaker 2 00:13:25 I was gonna be at home by myself all the time. Yeah. Yes. And you know, do I need to see every baseball game that my boys play now? No, but in the early years, that's where I had to be. I learned lingo and was very good at packing my car for all kinds of weather. And we've had some wonderful, wonderful memories, family trips that we've taken with your folks to baseball tournaments and the like. Speaker 1 00:13:57 And you have to say a father-in-law baseball coach. Speaker 2 00:14:01 Oh Speaker 1 00:14:01 Gosh. Yeah. Who is in heaven that his grandsons <laugh> Speaker 2 00:14:05 Loved the game, Speaker 1 00:14:07 and could take and wanted his advice. Unlike at least one of his sons <laugh> Speaker 2 00:14:13 Baseball wasn't your jam? Speaker 1 00:14:15 Not too much. No. Well, 'a jam' might have been a good explanation of my throwing motion from second base. Speaker 2 00:14:21 I've just heard about it. So I can't comment. Speaker 1 00:14:24 It's legendary. No doubt. Yeah. So the sad part of this weekend, you know, you lost your mother and lost her twice, once to dementia/Alzheimer's and mm-hmm <affirmative> then when she finally passed. And now you have to live through it with my mom and kind of my dad. Speaker 2 00:14:47 Dad too. Yeah. Yeah. It's Speaker 1 00:14:49 Um, so I know there's a color to this, this gathering that's different for you than any of us. Speaker 2 00:14:55 Well, my heart is heavy knowing what is to come and that we can't stop it from happening. And there's no, what really stinks about this decline is that there's no timetable and there's no predictability and each of them have to do it on their own. I mean, it's their own journey. But I'm not gonna lie. There was a time, when we first got the diagnosis on your mom, I was really mad at her. I thought, 'how could you do this to me? I'd lost my mom to this sucky disease, and now you're gonna leave me too?' And I've worked through that. But I also realized that that's part of my grieving processes. I had to be angry for a while. Now I'm at peace with where it's going to be. It doesn't lessen the heartache. Speaker 1 00:15:52 And yeah, and I know in your kindest way, you've tried to. . . (I'm my father, right?), you've tried to head off stuff that you know is coming for us Speaker 2 00:16:08 And it's gonna happen regardless Speaker 1 00:16:10 Speaker 2 00:16:11 You know, yeah, Speaker 1 00:16:14 you can forewarn us and it still hits us in the face. Speaker 2 00:16:17 Uh, yeah. And it has to. I mean, that's that it has to be your journey. But you know, I've been a Stengel longer than I was an Urness. And so how lucky was I to have found, you know, this man that I married and love so deeply and still brings me joy and laughter and silliness and okay, sometimes a little frustration too, but I got this wonderful family as a bonus. And I think, you know, you and I joke around about, you know, "the favorite brother-in-law sister-in-law" kind of thing and, no offense to my other brother-in-law Phil, but, you know, our relationship has taken some time to sort of forge. And now it's like, I can't imagine, having another brother. Speaker 1 00:17:10 Yeah. It's been a long, a long time since you were an auxiliary family member. Speaker 2 00:17:17 Yeah. Speaker 1 00:17:18 Yeah. You've been a full family member for a long time long now. Speaker 2 00:17:21 Long time. Yeah. Your people are my people <laugh> Speaker 1 00:17:23 Yeah. I mean, and you took us all in for better or for worse. That's true. Speaker 2 00:17:30 It's been great, but it's gonna be weird, you know, to come and visit and not come to the house. But I went through it with my mom too. And it's just what you have to do. But yeah, you know, Speaker 1 00:17:42 It's been a good house. Speaker 2 00:17:43 It's been a good house. I think that's what every family wants. Is for it to be a good house? Speaker 1 00:17:49 I think you can. . . if there's ever an example of a not so great building, <laugh>, that's actually a great house. This might be it. Speaker 2 00:17:58 Yeah. This might be it. Speaker 1 00:17:59 Or that's been a great "home". Speaker 2 00:18:01 Yeah. Well, you know, we've had shows in the garage and celebrating retirements and birthdays. You name it, we've probably done it. And it continues this weekend with the next generation, which has really been fun to watch too. Speaker 1 00:18:16 It's so nice that everyone came. Speaker 2 00:18:20 Yep. Speaker 1 00:18:21 Could come and wanted to come. Yep. Speaker 2 00:18:25 And you know, those cousins, I mean, they don't act like time has passed at all. They're just doing us all proud. Speaker 1 00:18:32 We did pretty good there. Speaker 2 00:18:33 I think so. I think so. Speaker 1 00:18:34 So yeah. Okay. Well, that's so nice. Speaker 2 00:18:37 Oh, thank you, Shawn. Speaker 1 00:18:38 Thank you from me and all or BOTH listeners of Chicago Musician. Speaker 2 00:18:44 I'll be sure to tune in next time. Speaker 1 00:18:46 And double my listenership! Speaker 2 00:18:49 Totally. Well, once summer vacation is here, you know? Speaker 1 00:18:52 Well, I figure if I get all of 12 of you or something. . . yeah, my analytics go way up, Speaker 2 00:18:58 You know? Okay. Speaker 1 00:18:59 Well, if even half of you listen, Speaker 2 00:19:01 I'll work on it for June. How's that? Okay. Okay. Speaker 1 00:19:04 Yeah. It's usually a down month in my ratings. <laugh> Speaker 2 00:19:07 It's a plan! Speaker 1 00:19:08 Down from two to one! Speaker 2 00:19:12 Okay. Thanks. Thank you. Speaker 1 00:19:33 So my guest now is my brother-in-law, my cuñado, Phil. Welcome. Speaker 3 00:19:41 Good to be here. Speaker 1 00:19:42 Yeah. You're supposed to say. . . mostly everybody else said it was "an honor to be here." Speaker 3 00:19:46 Oh, "Honor." Speaker 1 00:19:46 Yeah. Speaker 3 00:19:47 It's an honor to be here. Speaker 1 00:19:48 Yeah. I mean, you didn't really read over the script before, did you? Speaker 3 00:19:52 No, I didn't Speaker 1 00:19:52 So I'm glad you were all able to come here this weekend from Seattle. Speaker 3 00:20:01 Can we clarify? Speaker 1 00:20:03 Yes. Bellevue. Bellevue! It's the new Seattle, only more money, Speaker 3 00:20:08 Bigger and better, Speaker 1 00:20:10 Bigger and better? Speaker 3 00:20:10 Well, maybe not bigger, but Speaker 1 00:20:12 better anyways. All right. But I mean, it was quite a carve out for you. I mean, this is about as busy a time as your work possibly can be. Speaker 3 00:20:21 Very busy for sure. Speaker 1 00:20:23 You and son. Yep. And the girls. So, what do you think of our little gathering so far this weekend? Speaker 3 00:20:33 Well, I think it's really been a remarkable family time. Just a lot of, um, a lot of family, um, connecting some pretty deep connections and, uh, a lot of fun and, um, emotional for most. Yeah. Not so much for me. I mean, yes. But um, much more for others. Speaker 1 00:21:04 Yeah. Speaker 3 00:21:05 I, I didn't grow up here, you know, for 60 years and, but been a part of the family for a long time and, uh, yet, um, you know, it's just not as emotional for me. Speaker 1 00:21:18 Right. And, but you and Wendy did a great job at making sure your kids are connected to this place, at least from their expressions to me. Speaker 3 00:21:30 Oh, for sure. Um, I think my wife, um, I mean my family too, we, that I grew up in our family in Eastern Washington and, and in Washington were very close, tight knit and, um, um, you know, your family has the, the same kind of characteristics of that, where family's important family's first and so honor love and respect family and, and my, my children growing up, you know, on the west coast, um, this there's connected to this place as, you know, as they could be. Speaker 1 00:22:15 Yeah. Um, do you remember your first time ever in Brainerd? Speaker 3 00:22:21 Well, yes, actually I do. Um, Speaker 1 00:22:24 It was, was it before you weren't married? Speaker 3 00:22:26 Uh, yes. Okay. So the first two times, so the, the first time was actually in September, 1983. And so Wendy, Joe and I had, uh, kind of shifted gears in our relationship and, uh, we're getting closer. We decided to drive out, uh, and, um, and came here also, uh, spent time with Dan and Ann Johanna. Okay. And, uh, that was, but there, there wasn't a lot of real substance to that trip, but we Speaker 1 00:23:02 Did. Did I meet you then? Speaker 3 00:23:05 I don't know when we met. I don't think Speaker 1 00:23:07 So. I mean, I was living in the twin cities then, so maybe not, Speaker 3 00:23:11 Maybe not. We, I remember actually Karen was pregnant with Matthew. Speaker 1 00:23:17 Okay. Speaker 3 00:23:17 So were you around, Speaker 1 00:23:19 Well, that must have been a different one. Cuz Matthew was 85. Speaker 3 00:23:24 Was he? Well, she was Speaker 1 00:23:26 So in 84. Well maybe she had a really long just station period. Speaker 3 00:23:30 I don't know. Try to work with you, maybe you're right. Maybe you're right. So, uh, but the, I think the time that I remember coming here without Wendy, Joe was in February of 85 when I was assigned to drive a truck across the country to Toronto Canada in the middle of winter with, with, um, some friends who were moving and I was the truck driver because it's one of my gifts is driving <laugh> and Speaker 1 00:24:07 Very fast, by Speaker 3 00:24:08 The way, it was a, there was a snowstorm that went in front of me and one behind me and I was right in the middle of it the whole time. And I drove straight here to Brainerd and spent one night with your parents Speaker 1 00:24:20 In, in very clear headed ways Speaker 3 00:24:23 20 below the first morning. I remember that. Speaker 1 00:24:26 Were you engaged at that point? Speaker 3 00:24:27 We, we were not. However, I, I specifically came here to talk about that with your parents, that I wanted to do the honorable thing and make sure that they were comfortable in, uh, giving me their daughter to be married to. So that was a very interesting time. Speaker 1 00:24:49 So yeah. So then when did they eventually change their mind? Speaker 3 00:24:52 They never did. Speaker 1 00:24:53 Oh, they didn't? No. Okay. So that <laugh> so, so that was eight. That was 86? Speaker 3 00:24:59 No, that was 85. Speaker 1 00:25:00 Okay. So then you guys got married in Speaker 3 00:25:01 86. Six? Yeah. Okay. So side note I drove from here straight through to Guelph Canada, a thousand miles without stopping Speaker 1 00:25:11 <laugh>. So that probably for you, that was six hours, Speaker 3 00:25:14 Uh, no seven or Speaker 1 00:25:16 Eight. Yeah, exactly. But yeah, well that's pretty brave. Speaker 3 00:25:20 Well, um, you know, just, um, had met your parents and, and knew that they were, you know, good people. And, um, this was the family that I was going to commit myself to and so wanted to do Speaker 1 00:25:38 That. So you've, you've seen the full, mostly the full journey of my parents now then pretty Speaker 3 00:25:45 Much, Speaker 1 00:25:46 It's pretty, it's hard to see mom and dad, so diminished. Speaker 3 00:25:50 Yeah. You know, they came out to Eastern Washington. Uh, I don't remember what year, but we can work it backwards. Your dad was 50, 50, early fifties, Speaker 1 00:26:03 So, well, he was born in 30, Speaker 3 00:26:06 So it was, I, I forget how old exactly he was, but mm-hmm <affirmative> he came out to go pheasant hunting. Speaker 1 00:26:14 Okay. Speaker 3 00:26:15 And so he was a pretty spry guy back then, you know, in his fifties. Speaker 1 00:26:20 Yeah. And, uh, Speaker 3 00:26:22 So, so we did that. Speaker 1 00:26:24 You're sort of like the dream son that I never was, you know, the hunter Fisher, you know, sportsman that, you know, well, Randy was pretty good at it too, but I was not, Speaker 3 00:26:37 Well, when we first started coming back here after we were married, mm-hmm, <affirmative> your dad. And I would have the boat loaded and before the sun would come up, we were gone. Right. And we just said, bye Speaker 1 00:26:52 <laugh>. Speaker 3 00:26:54 And, and we would, uh, come home when we were done. And he was like, all right, let's go, let's do this. Speaker 1 00:27:00 And yeah, you're his dream person. Speaker 3 00:27:03 He came out to Montana to go pheasant hunting with me. And we hunted in zero below every day for days, stuff like that. Speaker 1 00:27:12 And he was in heaven. Yeah. Yeah. So, Speaker 3 00:27:16 Yeah, it was a connection. It was a very significant connection. Speaker 1 00:27:21 Yeah. It was significant. And I think, I mean, at least I think just deepened through the years. Speaker 3 00:27:28 Well, it did. And, um, it's interesting that over the years, um, you hear people talk about their father-in-law and their mother-in-law mm-hmm <affirmative> and it's not always flattering. In fact, it's often, you know, not good. I mean the relationships aren't, aren't great. And there's a lot of discord. Yep. And for me, um, over the years, I literally, you know, basically bragged about the relationship with these, my in-laws that I had that, like, I don't know any, I don't know anything else, but a amazing relationship, uh, with mom and dad. Yeah. Always been amazing. Speaker 1 00:28:19 Well, I think it was a little bit amazing to Randy and I, and Wendy, when we went out into the world and realized that every family wasn't ours. Yeah. You know, not that we have the genius family, but the safety and security of our parents and their love for all of us is not the sadly it's not the norm. Speaker 3 00:28:43 It's not the norm Speaker 1 00:28:45 It's. So we, you know, we're, we're extra special, lucky, Speaker 3 00:28:50 Extra special lucky. Speaker 1 00:28:51 But like I was talking to Karen, you know, my sister-in-law, uh, this morning, it's like, we, you guys, you guys all brought and added to the family too, you know, and made our, our family that much more interesting and made us stretch out of our, you know, routines and our, you know, we certainly have a lot of things we always do. Mm-hmm <affirmative>, you know, play P and bake this and eat that. And, uh, we got stretched in a lot of good ways. Speaker 3 00:29:23 Yeah. Speaker 1 00:29:24 From the, from the west and from the Earnests and the Sur and the, um, yeah. So I mean, the house is just a house. Right, Speaker 3 00:29:34 Right. Speaker 1 00:29:35 But it's been a, a pretty great home. I think that's the hard letting go. Speaker 3 00:29:42 Yeah. Well, I mean, you guys have, what, 55 years of memories here. Speaker 1 00:29:49 Yeah. They lived here for 56 years, Speaker 3 00:29:51 56. And I've been a part of the family for 35. Speaker 1 00:29:55 Yeah. Speaker 3 00:29:56 Going on 36 this summer and, uh, amazing. Yeah. It's, it's, it's amazing. It's wonderful. Your daughter, and it's been great for my children. This, this has been, like we said, you know, very emotional time for them because this is going to end. It's going to change in some way. Speaker 1 00:30:18 Yeah. I mean, inevitably. Yes. But like, this is pretty clearly when our group time in this home ends. Yeah. At least in a way that we choose. Speaker 3 00:30:35 Sure. But our time doesn't end. Speaker 1 00:30:37 Right. No. And Laney had a really nice thought. She goes, you know, yes. The stuff goes away in the thing, but it's like the memories don't we still have all of those. Right. We own all of those. And I think, you know, I don't know why I'm the one Speaker 3 00:30:52 Good insight. Speaker 1 00:30:53 Yeah. She, very, everyone said some version of that. It's like, we worked hard to make these connections and this house just sort of stirs them up in us a little bit. You bet. And so it's not about the house. It's about the important connections we made here. Yep. So thanks for talking to me, Phil. Speaker 3 00:31:16 Well, Speaker 1 00:31:16 Thanks my one and only brother-in-law Speaker 3 00:31:19 Your favorite Speaker 1 00:31:20 That's that's right, right. No competition. <laugh> clearly the top, so thanks. Yeah. All right. Speaker 4 00:31:41 No, these are good. What are we Speaker 1 00:31:44 The SM 70 eights or something. Oh, okay. Sort of the, yeah. What everyone uses. Speaker 4 00:31:50 Yeah. I saw those on Speaker 1 00:31:51 And you just, you, the advantages, you just kind of sound like yourself. Yeah. When you hear playback, you're like, oh, Speaker 4 00:31:57 Oh yeah. I know. I wish it wasn't but it is Speaker 1 00:32:00 With voices like ours. Yes. Okay. So my guest here is my sister, Wendy, of course. Um, we have the longest history in this true thing. We've had a pretty good weekend. Speaker 4 00:32:14 Yeah. I think we did everything we wanted to do achieving wise. I think so. Speaker 1 00:32:20 And got lucky mom and dad seemed to enjoy it. Take it in. Speaker 4 00:32:26 Yeah. I, I think to the, to the capacities that they have, they took it absorbed as much as they could and they did all right. Or there were some pretty emotional moments for them, but, but I think it was good. Speaker 1 00:32:40 Yeah. I was worried about mom. Yeah. Since we dragged her out of here, like Camille. Yes. Um, but part of forgetting what you're, what you don't know is you don't know, you're supposed to act upset, I guess. Speaker 4 00:32:55 Well, when I brought her here before everybody else got here, it was just she and I and dad kind of the private first touring after eight months of being gone. And she was, she was pretty emotional, but she kept telling me these were happy tears, because I think for her, it was like a flood of maybe not specific memories, but a flood of a feeling of what this place means to her. Speaker 1 00:33:23 So well, as nice as Edgewood is, no, it's not full of details and memories. No, it's generic. Speaker 4 00:33:29 It is. And there's no history there for her. So Speaker 1 00:33:32 I guess that makes sense. I'm glad that it was a flood of good feelings. Yeah. Speaker 4 00:33:37 Yeah. Speaker 1 00:33:38 She doesn't have too many floods these days. Speaker 4 00:33:41 No, <laugh> Speaker 1 00:33:42 Um, our mother is not the most emotional of no us or demonstrative. At least my dad is. Um, yeah. And he, it seemed like he enjoyed it. Speaker 4 00:33:56 He did. And I think maybe for him, the highlight besides all of the family being here is that when the neighbors saw him in the yard, they all came to greet him Speaker 1 00:34:05 Yeah. From across the street Speaker 4 00:34:06 And, and over the fences. And <laugh>, so that was pretty Speaker 1 00:34:09 Sweet. I guess, if you live in this place for 56 years. Yeah. Um, yeah. I don't know if we made any progress in <laugh> Speaker 4 00:34:19 Cleaning Speaker 1 00:34:19 Up, cleaning out the plays, Speaker 4 00:34:21 The grandkids all took about five things and so woo. Speaker 1 00:34:25 Yeah. Well, I don't know. Maybe we cleaned it out of emotional baggage. I don't know. Or we, Speaker 4 00:34:31 Or we added some maybe, I don't know. Speaker 1 00:34:34 Yeah. I mean, it was nice. All the grandkids that I've already talked to. Right. All had very like visceral. I keep using that word, but reactions to like each room had a memory for them and the smell better for good or bad yeah. Of the basement was specific. Yes. And so the, they had like a version of mom, the flood of these feelings and, um, and your husband had a, a good observation. He's like, it wasn't so emotional for him, but it was this, um, enriching of relationships that we've chosen to make important. True. And worked on. Yeah. And this was another confirmation of that. Yeah. Which I thought was a interesting way of looking at it. Speaker 4 00:35:26 Well, especially when all of the grandchildren are full blown adults now with their own lives and their own world. And, and of course you relate to them differently now than when you were in charge of them. <laugh> Speaker 1 00:35:38 Yeah. Speaker 4 00:35:38 Right. So, Speaker 1 00:35:39 Well, fortunately I was never in charge of anybody <laugh> we know that would've turned out, but, um, yeah. They had nice observations. What do you think, how do you think we're actually going to let go of this place? Speaker 4 00:35:55 I don't know. It's a bit like mother, a bit like a bit kicking and screaming and dragging our heels emotionally. But at the same time, it's it needs to happen. Speaker 1 00:36:07 I think we've reached, I've reached that point where it's inevitable. Yeah. It's it's has to happen. And maybe we've, this is like for maybe this weekend was more for us Speaker 4 00:36:19 Maybe Speaker 1 00:36:21 To yeah. Make sure everybody connected one more time. And um, and then we dump it. <laugh> for high market value in this seller's market. I don't know. Yeah. Speaker 4 00:36:36 Well, it's one of those things you sort of dread as you realize. Okay. When the people go, the place goes too. Speaker 1 00:36:45 Yeah. So although your daughter had a lovely live, no Elany, um, said, you know, we, we still have the memories, you know, we, yeah. We come back and I saw the sip sippy cups and it brings back these memories, but the stuff doesn't matter, but we, we always have the memories. Those still exist. Speaker 4 00:37:03 That's true. Speaker 1 00:37:04 And the feelings of them exist. Uh, so I, I like that. Yeah. Speaker 4 00:37:10 It's smart girl. Wonder who raised her? Speaker 1 00:37:13 Um, somebody else I heard like a bunch of Mexican aunts. Speaker 4 00:37:17 <laugh> that's true. You're Speaker 1 00:37:18 Right. Really had more influence than anyone. Um, yeah. Um, yeah. I wonder, it's weird to think back of, you know, we don't remember. I mean, no, I don't remember arriving at this house. No. Even though I remember the house before this, I don't remember the move. Speaker 4 00:37:44 Well, I was maybe four and you were six. Speaker 1 00:37:47 Yeah. Or barely or barely. Yeah. Speaker 4 00:37:49 So we were pretty young. I don't remember getting here for the first time either, Speaker 1 00:37:55 But we, you know, we grew up here. This is the only house we knew. Yeah. It was no palace Speaker 4 00:38:02 <laugh> no, Speaker 1 00:38:04 But it was, I, I guess when you're a kid, you'd know what, you know. Speaker 4 00:38:08 Yeah. I don't, but, but everybody around us pretty much lived within the same realm of what was financially coming in for them. And it was middle class, but we weren't really, we were sort of lower middle class when, Speaker 1 00:38:24 When you teacher's salary. Speaker 4 00:38:25 Yeah. And one, one Speaker 1 00:38:26 Income, one income and three kids. Right. So thank God. Both of our neighbors had pools. Speaker 4 00:38:32 Right. Speaker 1 00:38:33 It made us think we Speaker 4 00:38:34 Were wealthy, know exactly the neighbor, the doctor, the neighbor had Speaker 1 00:38:38 A pool, but you know, I was thinking, you know, we, we weren't in that many people's houses, you know, remember Sanford's our best friends. Yeah. Their mother really never let us in the house. Right. Rarely. Right. Um, and then the parsonage where the Johnsons were, is tinier than this. Yes. Right. And other than that, we didn't go in each other's houses very much. Speaker 4 00:39:02 No. Unless I had a sleepover with a friend, like in another part of town and then I saw a whole nother lifestyle with some of my friends, but I also remember being really relieved to get back here. Speaker 1 00:39:14 Yeah. Yeah. Almost everybody, uh, mentioned some, a sense of safety in coming here. Yeah. Yeah. With grandma and grandpa. Yeah. You know, like the freedom to go wander the neighborhood on a bike, but the safety of the place. And um, yeah. I don't know. I don't, I don't know if you feel this way, but like, I feel like I've mostly let go of whatever childhood pains and growing up angst I had of this place. Maybe we're just sort of color over them with good thoughts. I mean, and we, we obviously had times SRE when we weren't happy and um, but I don't feel in the big picture, it doesn't feel like that many horrible moments or, or Speaker 4 00:40:09 No. I mean, they're there, but Speaker 1 00:40:11 They're not, Speaker 4 00:40:12 No, we, like you say, our mother was not a dramatic emotional person and dad was sentimental, but he was only through a fork once Speaker 1 00:40:22 <laugh> that's right. Thank God. We had a linoleum floor. So it stuck. Speaker 4 00:40:26 Yes, it did. It was stuck in a lot of ways. So we didn't have a lot of drama at this house emotionally out there, drama. We, no, whatever we had was pretty stuffed and stoic. But, Speaker 1 00:40:39 But, but I would say even though we're German and Norwegian and not outwardly emotional and not fighting like Italians right there, wasn't a lot of, I don't think mind games, Speaker 4 00:40:50 No Speaker 1 00:40:51 Passive aggressive held in don't mom and dad kind of walked the walk pretty. Yeah. Clearly who they were, Speaker 4 00:41:01 The only time I ever recalled and really fighting in front of us was when we were driving like on a road trip and having to get through Chicago or someplace where they were super stressed about being in the big city. And then it was pretty tense. Speaker 1 00:41:16 Yeah. But fish out of water. Yeah, exactly. But not here on their turf, Speaker 4 00:41:21 Not Speaker 1 00:41:21 Here on the only real anger I really saw from dad when, when I was, when I was a mouthy teenager and you know, I would've bitch slap me too. You know? It was, Speaker 4 00:41:33 You could push his buttons. Pretty good. Yes. Speaker 1 00:41:35 It was talented in that regard. We are not, we were not alike. Speaker 4 00:41:40 You and dad. Yeah. No. And he never, he doesn't get irony and he doesn't get sarcasm the things which you maybe have a PhD in. So yeah. That was pretty, he still doesn't get those things, but mother always got them. Speaker 1 00:41:54 Yes. Speaker 4 00:41:55 So, Speaker 1 00:41:56 Yeah. But did you have the, did you ever have the mother daughter clash thing? Speaker 4 00:42:03 No, I don't. I honestly, it's not like we were BFF, so either no, she was definitely mom. Speaker 1 00:42:11 Right. Our parents didn't try to be our best friends. Not at all. I'm glad for that. Speaker 4 00:42:16 But there was never, no, I can't say never. There were some times in high school when I was pretty off the rails and some things, and she, you can't say God in your face cuz she does. She's not that's who she is, but she would have some pretty stern talks with me, but that was, but she was just being mom. Right. So, uh, I didn't have that sort of drama that some mother daughters have never really had that. Speaker 1 00:42:42 So no. And I remember you telling me when you came back from your summer at a C T in San Francisco and that was when, after a year of college, Speaker 4 00:42:53 I think I was 19, Speaker 1 00:42:55 But like maybe the first time you realized that not everybody's mother sold knit them sweaters and made dinner and you know, had Christmas with grandma and grandpa, you know that we are a weird family. Yes. In our normalcy. Speaker 4 00:43:09 Yes. That's what, that was a big eye opener was a lot of people in acting school. They had these resources of emotions because they lived them like up and down on roller coasters all the time I had to dig for 'em because I wasn't used to 'em. Yeah. So finding those things in some ways was very hard for me and I Marvel that, but then I thought, okay, which would I rather have? <laugh> Speaker 1 00:43:34 I'd like to act upset more than I'd like to be upset. I think that's the winner. Ding, ding D ding ding. Yes. Yeah. It's sort of weird though. You know, coming from a, a whole lifetime of smart assness now I'm genetically predisposed to be my father and I'm like, whoa, just, Speaker 4 00:43:53 What does that mean? Speaker 1 00:43:54 It means like that Speaker 4 00:43:55 Like sentimental, mush head Speaker 1 00:43:57 If I get yeah. It just, and it just gushes up and I can't speak in the way that almost like he can't right now. Right. I just can't get it out. And it's like, okay, where does that come from? Speaker 4 00:44:09 Oh, you mean you're related to him after all? Speaker 1 00:44:12 Yeah, Speaker 4 00:44:13 Yeah, yeah. Speaker 1 00:44:15 Loath to admits, but um, yeah, Speaker 4 00:44:18 But here's the deal. He's a good guy. Our dad is a good guy. Yeah. I don't know that. I really appreciated that through much of my teenage years and into my early adulthood, until you get a different perspective and come back around, you realize he's really just a good guy. Speaker 1 00:44:36 Yeah. And I hated it. Speaker 4 00:44:38 <laugh> what Speaker 1 00:44:39 That he was a very good I yes. Well, our father's father died when our father was three years old. He never knew his own father. So my theory always has been, he wanted to be the perfect yes. Present father. Yes. And that worked on my older brother, Randy. Yes. Cuz they're kind of the same and I am the opposite of my father in temperament. And so that was, I mean, that's the major tension I had in this house is like, I couldn't, I dunno. But the good thing was our dad was referee in high school games across the state. It was never home <laugh> I mean, not to say that we saw him every day at school cuz he was the high school guidance counselor. No, but, but often like dinner, he wasn't home till eight o'clock or when we were nearly nearly in bed. So it's not that there were a bunch of showdowns. Speaker 4 00:45:32 No, no. To a great toge mother raised a, this home was where mom operated in the most and dad operated in the community. Yes. Like with everybody else's kids and coaching and counseling and church and everything else. And mom Speaker 1 00:45:50 Was, but she was sort of clever too. Mom, mom was uh, she's wittier than father. I mean literally. And but I think in this regard what single mom, three kids, but she figured out how to get us out of the house. Yes. Go run the neighborhood. Yes. Let me have coffee with the neighbor women. And then I have my own chunk of my life. Yeah. When we reached a certain age. Yeah. Speaker 4 00:46:18 Well like my good friend Anne was here who we've been best friends since we were four and we were reminiscing about it. And she said to my mom, Doris, do you remember how you used to get us out of the house? And she's like, oh no. Did I do I didn't kick you out? And Anne was like, oh, oh yeah, you did. You used to yell at us and say you have 10 seconds to get out of this house. And we would be way Speaker 1 00:46:43 Upstairs and I'm getting the broom. Speaker 4 00:46:45 Yes. Oh that's right. Speaker 1 00:46:46 The broom Speaker 4 00:46:46 Would getting the broom and then she would start counting and we would wait till like nine and a half to come scrambling down the stairs and fly out the door. Like, like what she was ever gonna do to us. I don't know. But it was effective. Speaker 1 00:46:57 It is. But that, yeah, that was, that was Speaker 4 00:47:01 Protocol. It was Speaker 1 00:47:02 You kids get outside and yes. So yeah. I mean, part of the house that I'll miss is our neighborhood. Yes. Like we haven't known the people who've lived here for years and all of us, three kids still drive down the street and go like, oh there's tunics. Yeah. There's our hearts. Yeah. There's people who haven't lived here since 1974. Right. Or whatever. But that's what it feels like still Speaker 4 00:47:25 It does. And even just walking through the neighborhood, there's so many, we walk through with the kids today and I can so many memories come back. I haven't thought about for years you think, oh gosh, that's where that happened or that all Speaker 1 00:47:38 That. So what's gonna be weird. Yeah. Is when we drive by this house. Yes. And somebody else lives here. Speaker 4 00:47:44 Yeah, exactly. I'm not sure how that I'm not sure I wanna do that even. Is that Speaker 1 00:47:50 That'll? Yeah. Speaker 4 00:47:51 Maybe that's just, Speaker 1 00:47:53 I don't know. Maybe when we're Speaker 4 00:47:55 92 older <laugh> that's what I'm shooting for 92. Speaker 1 00:48:00 Okay. I mean, that sounds realistic to me, so, well I'm glad this weekend worked out and that everybody I Speaker 4 00:48:08 Am too, Speaker 1 00:48:09 You know, that everybody wanted to be here and made the time to be here. Cuz it was difficult. Young family. Yes. People with careers, your dad, your husband. Yeah. With the busiest work time of his, you know, year. So, um, Speaker 4 00:48:25 Yeah. Teachers that are still in school and their take, they had their pedalling hard. Everybody made the effort and that Speaker 1 00:48:32 Was, and me, I mean I had to find a place for Libby to stay and we Speaker 4 00:48:37 Really appreciate Speaker 1 00:48:37 That. Um, yeah. And then I it's beautiful. Drove here for however many days I wanted and well, it's been great talking <laugh> I mean I did make an effort. Look, I absolutely. I brought two microphones. <laugh> they're heavy. Speaker 4 00:48:56 Yeah. And you waited for all those people to come in from Seattle at midnight. That's true. Speaker 1 00:49:02 I was, you drove chauffeur Speaker 4 00:49:03 2:00 AM to get up here. Speaker 1 00:49:05 So I'm sort of like a chauffeur dog Walker, podcaster. Speaker 4 00:49:10 Ooh. It's very Speaker 1 00:49:11 Hip doesn't pay much. Speaker 4 00:49:12 No, Speaker 1 00:49:14 But except in, you know, right. The hearts held rewards of artistry and yes. Dog licks. All right. I'm we're both fading. It's really late. I've been long. Speaker 4 00:49:27 We should have done this hours Speaker 1 00:49:28 Ago, but that's. Yes, exactly. So, alright. Speaker 4 00:49:30 There's something going on every moment. So Speaker 1 00:49:33 Thank you sister. Wendy. Yes, Speaker 4 00:49:35 Brother. Sean. Speaker 1 00:49:36 We, hopefully we have many more gatherings of this. The next one involving this array, people probably will be pretty sad, but this one was, uh, fun. Speaker 4 00:49:51 It was Speaker 1 00:49:52 All right. Good night. Good night from Chicago musician Speaker 4 00:49:59 And his delirious Speaker 1 00:50:00 Sister. Yeah. Phil wanted to call it the Chicago musician with his podcast voice. Oh. And I'm like it's Chicago musician. He goes, I like my better. Speaker 4 00:50:10 Okay. William <laugh> I've raised my children. Well, Speaker 1 00:50:14 Yeah. I like people with opinions. Oh even stupid ones. <laugh> I'm looking at him right now of course. But uh, did we sign off? Speaker 4 00:50:22 I thought we did a while. Speaker 1 00:50:23 I think I'm sure they hit the, okay now we're by. Okay. We're getting there. I guess we better dump this south before we completely lose our minds. In the meantime, we'll be back after the interval. Today's interval, a minor sixth is sponsored by nobody, but it was played on ATU solute, which is like a recorder, a wooden recorder. This, uh, was made in Norway and we got it on some trip sometime. And I used to be able to play it a little bit. But today I played a minor sixth proud. Okay. Okay. Okay. And already a long episode is getting longer with my ramblings. So let's get to the stars of the show. Really? This is my parents. Again, this is a little awkward, but I think, well you listen. Let me know. So mom, are you talking right now? What would you say if you were talking Speaker 8 00:52:38 Well, I'm waiting to see what great memories and uh, interesting things that I've done in life. Speaker 1 00:52:46 Oh. Am I gonna tell you or you're gonna tell me, Speaker 8 00:52:49 I don't know Speaker 1 00:52:50 Exactly. Dad say something. Speaker 7 00:52:53 Well, I was thinking up to of um, 16 life in I, you can't F do things that with your thumb and get, so you wait and you sit since yesterday. I couldn't, uh, that much, uh, is gone. Speaker 1 00:53:26 Yeah. Of your like 60 years later of this house. Is that what you're talking about? Speaker 7 00:53:33 Well, yeah. I could play that. I guess. I know seven and six. Um, yeah. Six people have gone, gone, gone, gone, gone. Speaker 1 00:53:51 Oh, you're talking about your teeth. Yeah. Six of your teeth are gone. Yeah. Yeah. Speaker 7 00:53:57 And so I that's all alright. We really do do have some, some fun, fun, um, where I may go out in the little, most ghostly people who look want to tu talk to you. Speaker 1 00:54:22 Oh, you mean here in the neighborhood? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You guys yesterday, it seemed like all the neighbors found you and came over to say hello. Speaker 7 00:54:32 Yeah. Well that that's this, but what, uh, Speaker 1 00:54:36 Where were you talking about today at the funeral? Speaker 7 00:54:40 No, I want, I want, when I talked to him at the six, Speaker 1 00:54:48 The, your grandkids? No. No. What is the six Speaker 7 00:54:54 Bang bag? Bang Speaker 1 00:54:56 Your teeth. Yeah. Okay. So what do your teeth have to do with our weekend here at 15, 10 south seventh street? Oh, you don't have to make that correlation. Mom, did you enjoy this weekend? Seeing all your grandchildren and your two great grandkids here in at 15, 10, south seventh. Speaker 8 00:55:18 Just been amazing. You know, I don't get to see all of them at once. Uh, and not very often, but Speaker 1 00:55:27 No. Well, none of us. Yeah. Get to see each other all so, oh, it was kind of amazing that everybody made it here this weekend. Yeah. Speaker 7 00:55:37 Yeah. Speaker 8 00:55:39 It took quite a bit of, uh, no negotiating, I think. Speaker 1 00:55:43 Yeah. Well, you know, the people have jobs and families and work now, so yeah. It was nice that everybody made the effort. Speaker 8 00:55:52 I appreciate it very much. Speaker 1 00:55:56 So you guys, haven't been back in this house since we moved you in October. Do you, does it, would you say it's mostly good feelings when you come back here or some of both? Speaker 8 00:56:15 Mostly good. I think there's a lot of wonderful things that happened here and a lot of children and things that we did that were good. Speaker 1 00:56:32 Yeah. I think so. I mean, Randy and Wendy and I grew up in this house. We haven't lived here for a lot of years, but it's still been your home and then our home for all those years. Speaker 8 00:56:45 It's good. Speaker 7 00:56:47 So what's gonna happen to hangs like simply like that, that, Speaker 1 00:56:54 Well, that's a good question. <laugh>, we're a family who hasn't thrown anything out since right after the Renaissance. <laugh> um, we have a lot of photos and memorabilia and um, you know, furniture, isn't hard people, there are people who can use the bed and use a, you know, a dresser or something. But all of our personal stuff, I don't know. We're still figuring that out. Speaker 8 00:57:22 Somebody hard to the junkyard someday, I suppose. Well, we gotta keep it in our minds and in our memories. Speaker 1 00:57:31 Yeah. And we do. I think we start to see that I've talked to all your grandkids on this, you know, recording thing that I'm doing here with the microphone and pretty much all of them, you know, they took a few things that meant something to them or that connected them with you or this house. But mostly they weren't worried. They weren't interested in the things. They're like, we, we have our memories here. Yeah. And so coming back here, you know, the smell smells like this house and the, every room reminds me of grandma, this or grandpa. And I used to do that. So it wasn't very much about the things. It was about the feelings of being here. Speaker 8 00:58:16 That's wonderful. Speaker 1 00:58:18 Yeah. And that was part of what we were hoping for. You know, that you, you know, we all still felt that wonder and that appreciation for this house. It was a good place to live. Do you remember dad? How, how you found this house? I mean, that's a lot of years ago. Speaker 8 00:58:48 I have no idea. Speaker 1 00:58:51 We lived at 1 21 Gilles avenue. Speaker 8 00:58:54 Oh, oh Speaker 1 00:58:56 Right. I mean the bottom floor of a two flat, pretty shitty apartment. <laugh> pardon my French. But I mean, I was four when we moved here. So I don't remember Speaker 8 00:59:11 When we moved here Speaker 1 00:59:12 Yeah. Into this house. Speaker 8 00:59:14 Wow. Speaker 1 00:59:16 Yeah. So it was 1963, Speaker 7 00:59:22 I guess, Speaker 1 00:59:23 Or no, no, no. I was six. Wendy was four. Okay. Because I went to first grade at Edison, um, since 1965, Speaker 7 00:59:36 I one fun, uh, think I, I thought about this woman, uh, and for the last, for of them that, but what with, when, uh, we start building for this, Speaker 1 01:00:00 Do you mean this room particularly? Speaker 7 01:00:02 No. Yeah. That's Speaker 1 01:00:04 Well you did build this room. Yeah. When Carlos came. Yeah. We needed another bedroom. Yeah. So you put up this wall and all this paneling, that's still here. I mean, that was 40 some years ago. Wow. So I guess, you know, you did pretty good dad. Speaker 7 01:00:24 I think so. Speaker 1 01:00:25 <laugh> I also think, uh, you told us you paid $16,000 for this house. I think that was the price. So I think, I think you got your money's worth, Speaker 7 01:00:42 I wonder what it would sell for now. Speaker 1 01:00:44 Well, the market now is crazy, so probably at least 17 or 18,000. Speaker 7 01:00:50 So the, how do you get up there? Say that, you know, the bad, Speaker 1 01:01:02 How do we do what Speaker 7 01:01:04 We should put it up some in my mind. And then people, people are, Speaker 1 01:01:10 People come and look at it and yeah. I mean, you have a real estate agent and they have people come and look at the house. And right now there's not a lot of houses in America. There's a housing shortage. So it's very competitive. Um, so the real estate guy we've talked to, doesn't think when we're ready to sell here, that it won't take very long because there aren't a lot of medium size houses that would be, you know, great for a young family. Like, like we were, when we showed up in the sixties, you know, this is as nice as your house is mom and dad. It's no great palace, but it's a pretty good house. Speaker 7 01:01:59 Well, Speaker 1 01:02:00 You know, it's not, it's not a big McMansion with huge rooms, but we did pretty good here. Do you remember the, the original kitchen? Remember before we, we built on the addition, the kitchen where the kitchen table was right by the back door. <laugh> right. If the paper boy came to collect, whoever was sitting by the door, had to stand up and move their chair so we could get in the door. <laugh> well, especially when we had Beatrice and Carlos and there were six of us or, you know, crammed around that table, there wasn't much room the shelf with the, your old radio was right there at the corner and the sink wasn't facing outside, it was in that interior wall. Speaker 7 01:02:51 So how did, did you get, Speaker 1 01:02:54 We built, you built this addition on, I think right before year 25th wedding anniversary. <laugh> best thing you ever did. How many, how much of our lives did we spend in that kitchen? Playing cards or eating meals and talking, Speaker 8 01:03:12 Talking to one another Speaker 1 01:03:14 <laugh> yeah. You know, if grandpa came to visit, you'd sit at the kitchen table and, you know, feed him some of your homemade beef stew and he could have an old Milwaukee and you know, you know, or you and your lady, friends having coffee and Speaker 8 01:03:34 Bridge Speaker 1 01:03:35 <laugh> bridge. Although bridge to me seemed like it was always in the living room. Yeah. At the card table, right? Yeah. Yeah. But there was always some sort of refreshments involved. Dad, do you remember any of this or were you working too hard while mom partied? Did you, you played bridge Speaker 7 01:03:54 For, for, for a life. Speaker 1 01:03:57 You, you had couples bridge, right? Speaker 7 01:04:00 Yep. Yep. Speaker 8 01:04:02 He was out earning our money so we could Speaker 1 01:04:06 Keep, so we could afford to live here. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you were the, well for, until we kids were grown, when you went back to school mom and got your degree, we, you were, we were a one income family sort of in what was normal then now it's pretty hard to survive on one income. Speaker 7 01:04:30 How did we hear, um, man, Speaker 1 01:04:43 Who's gonna sell this place. Speaker 7 01:04:44 Yeah. How we, how did we come to, Speaker 1 01:04:47 How did you find this house? Speaker 7 01:04:48 Yeah, Speaker 1 01:04:50 I was asking you that. Cuz I was six. I don't, I don't remember the, I don't remember the connection. How you, if it was another teacher who knew something about this neighborhood, Speaker 7 01:05:02 It seemed like, like we liked, we didn't believe it. Speaker 1 01:05:08 That you, that you found this house. That was perfect. Yeah. Speaker 7 01:05:10 Yeah. We didn't Speaker 1 01:05:12 Any of it. You didn't shop around very much, Speaker 7 01:05:14 Much, much. Speaker 1 01:05:15 Well, I, I guess you got good instincts. It worked out pretty good. <laugh> Speaker 7 01:05:21 Uh, the girl, uh, I think she went to, to talk to her daughter and tell him about me. Speaker 1 01:05:34 Mm-hmm <affirmative> the, the girl who was selling the house, right? Yeah. Speaker 7 01:05:41 And it didn't, they like take like Speaker 1 01:05:45 Long didn't take long, right? Speaker 7 01:05:47 That's right. Speaker 1 01:05:48 You plunked down that $500 or something and Speaker 7 01:05:52 Grandpa, Speaker 1 01:05:53 Oh, grandpa Lu loaned you the money family loans. Those worked out pretty well over the years. Right? Mom, do you remember like living in this house with three? Well, there was usually like five kids cuz it would be Mike and Anne Sanford and us. Speaker 8 01:06:17 I don't remember it very well. Speaker 1 01:06:20 Well we used to whole have a whole neighborhood full of kids. Speaker 8 01:06:23 That's true. Speaker 1 01:06:24 The up and down these blocks <laugh> you know, you would just kick us outside and go say, go play. Speaker 8 01:06:32 Yeah. Kick you out. <laugh> Speaker 1 01:06:34 Yeah. Speaker 8 01:06:35 Yeah. There was space out there. Speaker 1 01:06:37 Well, it's a different era now you can't just sort of shove the kids out the door and say, come back in a couple hours. Sadly. Speaker 7 01:06:48 Sadly. Speaker 1 01:06:49 You know? So we were lucky. We grew up in sort of a, I it's not like bad things didn't happen years ago, but it seemed like a, a more innocent time. Speaker 8 01:07:03 I think so. Speaker 1 01:07:04 Yeah. You had some good neighbors here, mom. Speaker 8 01:07:08 Yes. Speaker 1 01:07:09 Weren't you like you were Doris, there was a Dolores ado and in the Laura really? And another Doris, I think at one time it was like Doris, Doris dolo dolos and ILO Speaker 7 01:07:27 Had we bitted. Speaker 1 01:07:28 No, no. That was your neighbors. Speaker 8 01:07:30 Neighbors. Speaker 7 01:07:30 Yeah. But Speaker 1 01:07:32 We knew them all. Yeah. Doris row, I think ILO, ILO, tunic. Delora you're right. I mean, it was kind of funny that all, all of you had similar names in this little six house, little clump here. So anyhow, so, well I'm glad this was a good family. Another family gathering weekends. Pretty good stuff, dad. Speaker 7 01:08:04 Yeah. Speaker 1 01:08:06 How'd you like our singing Pete and Kyle and I sang at the piano. Speaker 7 01:08:19 I didn't uh, when he's on that you type. Speaker 1 01:08:27 Yeah. I was playing the piano. Yeah. Which of course is always good. Right, mom. Speaker 8 01:08:33 Right. <laugh> the best. Speaker 1 01:08:35 Thanks for reading the cue cards. <laugh> uh, yeah, it was the song we sang at Heidi and Matt's wedding. Speaker 8 01:08:46 How long ago was that? Speaker 1 01:08:48 Three years already. Speaker 8 01:08:49 Pardon? Speaker 1 01:08:50 Three years. Well, little ADA is over two years old now. And baby case is four, four months old. Your great grandparents. How does that feel? Speaker 8 01:09:06 Feels Speaker 7 01:09:06 Great. Uhhuh Speaker 1 01:09:08 Reals. Great. Speaker 7 01:09:09 Oh that when they went out last night, Uhhuh, they must, must have get in the head and think, but man, that kid was, Speaker 1 01:09:24 Oh, well, oh I think that was the night before case had a sort of meltdown. He's such a he's seems like a happy little boy until the moment when he wasn't <laugh> and then so did, do you feel like you should cut him out of the inheritance then? No, not, not for, Speaker 8 01:09:44 Yeah. What, what inheritance. Speaker 1 01:09:46 Okay. I was being funny. Yeah. Speaker 8 01:09:48 <laugh> Speaker 1 01:09:49 Not that funny Speaker 8 01:09:51 Used it as soon as we got it, I think. Speaker 1 01:09:54 Well, certainly early on in life there wasn't a lot of extra sure. I think you did a pretty good job as parents, since we didn't really know that Speaker 7 01:10:05 <laugh> Speaker 8 01:10:06 We didn't either. Speaker 1 01:10:08 <laugh> well, see, well, we were all really ignorant then. Yeah. How beautiful. Speaker 8 01:10:14 Well, we hadn't done it before, you know? So how do you, how do you learn? Speaker 1 01:10:20 I guess I was interviewing your oldest grandson, Matthew yesterday. Um, and he has the two kids. Right. And he's so he's the only one of your grandkids. Who's a parent. Speaker 8 01:10:34 Ah, Speaker 1 01:10:35 And so I, he had a pretty rough, rough weekend with both of those kids and, and so I got him down here and he wasn't in a really good head space, but he was like, wow boy, do I appreciate my, I always appreciated my parents, but I have even more admiration for them now as parents, you know, but there's no way he was like, you, he just has to learn how to do it, I guess. And if he's lucky, he'll have as wonderful children as you have Speaker 8 01:11:12 <laugh> yeah, I think we might. Speaker 7 01:11:16 And Speaker 8 01:11:23 What great thought is coming out there, army? Speaker 7 01:11:25 Well, I don't. How do you regret that? That, that take a lot of opinions. People, the people that work duck do too, you know, sick of, uh, like, um, I drop in here strap and a lot of us of that kind of people, Speaker 1 01:11:57 Our relatives. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Speaker 7 01:12:00 Yeah. Speaker 8 01:12:09 I think we've told them about everything we know. Speaker 7 01:12:13 Yeah. I think I remember <laugh> well, Speaker 1 01:12:19 I don't think it's just, uh it's. I think it's all of us who will miss this house. Speaker 8 01:12:30 Is it gonna be given away pretty Speaker 1 01:12:32 Soon? Oh, mom, we're not given it away. No, we'll probably be selling it within this year. You know? Cuz it's sitting empty most of the time. But as Laney Lou said to me, she goes, the trinkets don't matter. We have the memories and we always have those pretty sweet. Thanks mom and dad. Thank you. You should say thank you, Sean. Our favorite son <laugh> oh, watch you won't be caught on tape saying that Speaker 7 01:13:15 <laugh> Speaker 8 01:13:16 Who knows Speaker 7 01:13:17 <laugh> no. Speaker 1 01:13:19 All right. Well that's it's me, Sean and my mom and dad Arnolds and Doris signing off from 15, 10 south seventh street in brainer, Minnesota. Speaker 7 01:13:33 And what we'll do you do? Thank Speaker 1 01:13:36 You. What will I do? Oh, I'll take my riches when I sell this and probably move to Spain or something. Okay. Or I'll take a one Uber ride and that'll be the extent of my inheritance. But yeah, no, I go home tomorrow Speaker 7 01:13:55 And Speaker 1 01:13:56 Back to Chicago. I gotta make a living to Speaker 8 01:14:02 There's still places to make a living there. Speaker 1 01:14:05 <laugh> I don't know, mom. I'm gonna see, Speaker 8 01:14:09 Find out Speaker 1 01:14:11 I find out. I hope so. Speaker 8 01:14:12 Life is always an adventure. <laugh> things that you thought you were going to do. You didn't necessarily get done, but, Speaker 1 01:14:22 But a lot of things happen to you that you're not expecting to happen either. That's Speaker 8 01:14:27 True. Speaker 1 01:14:28 Did you ever think you'd go to Bolivia? Speaker 8 01:14:31 Ah Speaker 1 01:14:31 <laugh> Speaker 8 01:14:32 Yeah, that was us. Speaker 7 01:14:35 I, I felt more and more. Speaker 8 01:14:37 When did we all go? Did we all go down to Bolivia? Speaker 1 01:14:40 Yeah. All of us and Karen. Speaker 8 01:14:43 That was a smart decision. Speaker 1 01:14:46 Yeah. Well you raised smart kids. What you made, you raised smart kids, but it was good. Yeah. That was a wild adventure for all of us. With Carlos and family. We, we saw a lot of the United States when we were kids. Yeah. From the back of the Plymouth station wagon. <laugh> Speaker 7 01:15:10 32, 2. I think it was that at when, when um, when Tom Speaker 1 01:15:21 Carlos. Speaker 7 01:15:22 Yeah. Speaker 1 01:15:23 Yeah. Speaker 7 01:15:25 And we, we said start curing and we thought, thought thought 32 dear years has been, been bent by since Speaker 1 01:15:42 Somebody, since the last time we saw him. Speaker 7 01:15:43 Yeah, no, no. I was thinking when he is heres. Speaker 1 01:15:47 Okay. Speaker 7 01:15:48 And I think it, it, he could go home and say 33 could go. He, he, Speaker 8 01:16:00 Speaking of that, where do we have to go to go to bed tonight? Speaker 1 01:16:04 Back out to Edgewood. That's your, your crash pad now. So Speaker 7 01:16:13 How many money you got more? Speaker 1 01:16:16 Nope. You're at the end of the line. Clearly I ran out of people to interview. If I came down to you Speaker 7 01:16:22 <laugh> Speaker 1 01:16:24 I joke, I kid with love. All right. Love you, mom and dad. Speaker 8 01:16:29 Likewise. Speaker 1 01:16:43 Well, I guess I lied a little bit in this episode. My brother gets the final word. So let's get to that finally. So my final, final, and least guest, I don't know my brother, Randy, welcome to Chicago musician. Thank Speaker 8 01:17:06 You Speaker 1 01:17:07 So much. The home version you can play at home now. Oh good. Oh no. Well we can for a little bit while longer. Speaker 10 01:17:14 Yes. Speaker 1 01:17:15 Have you ever done a podcast? Speaker 10 01:17:16 I have not. Speaker 1 01:17:17 Well, you've done a lot of audio VI vis what is it? Audio visual. Yes. AV Speaker 10 01:17:25 I have 40 years of professional video production. Speaker 1 01:17:28 Almost professional. Speaker 10 01:17:29 Almost professional. Yes. That's as my family says. Speaker 1 01:17:32 Um, so we've almost lived through the weekend Speaker 10 01:17:37 Pretty much. Yes. And it was quite glorious. Most of it. I thought. Speaker 1 01:17:41 Yeah. I think everybody, everybody had a lot of fields. Yes. Like the kids say Speaker 10 01:17:49 Yes, Speaker 1 01:17:49 <laugh> mostly good ones. Speaker 10 01:17:51 Yeah. I, I, I was not dreading the weekend, but I had some trepidation about it. No doubt about that. And I was especially, please, mom and dad seemed to enjoy it. Of course they don't react a lot, but they just, I think revelled in being in amongst all of everybody else enjoying the moment and it was good. And 99% of it, I think. Speaker 1 01:18:12 Yeah. I found it interesting that mom more than a few times said, ah, feels like home. Speaker 10 01:18:20 Yes. And, and the other thing was, there's just so much happy going on around here. <laugh> Speaker 1 01:18:25 Yes. And also then where am I gonna sleep tonight? Yes. Speaker 10 01:18:29 Yes. Speaker 1 01:18:29 Just do kick us back to reality. So yep. But yeah, I think whatever joy we can impart to them now that was, this weekend was about as good as we can do as a family. Speaker 10 01:18:45 Yes. And, and even if, well, I think dad will remember it more than mom and mom will only remember bits and pieces, but I think for the rest of us, we created really cool memories for the rest of our family. Speaker 1 01:18:57 Yeah. It wasn't just for mom and dad. Speaker 10 01:18:58 No. Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. Speaker 1 01:19:02 So all the kids, all the grandkids in some version or other said, you know, they had very specific memories walking into this house, the smell, the each room. Um, Speaker 10 01:19:18 Yeah. And they're all kids that kind of, they like that. I mean, it's like they eat it up. They, they, you know, it's all good memories, I think for the most part. And, and, uh, they enjoy kind of reveling in that. Speaker 1 01:19:35 Well, I think some of that's our sister's doing Speaker 10 01:19:39 Yes. And I just think in the family, I mean, everybody's gotten along every, the grandkids have all loved coming to grandpa and grandmas and I think it might be even a little tougher for them than for us. I don't know we're doing all this grind work now to clean the house out so, Speaker 1 01:19:55 Well, I think it's actually the opposite. None of them ever lived here. Speaker 10 01:20:00 Well, and here's, what's a little weird when I think about it. Mom and dad lived here for 56 years. For me, more or less. I really only lived here 12 to 13 years, if you can include even my summers of college. But I returned here, all of my, you know, 40 plus years of married life and so many visits, but isn't like, I lived here that long. Speaker 1 01:20:20 No, but like the crucial years of our lives, I guess. Speaker 10 01:20:23 Yes. And I was talking to a friend it's like, how, you know, the first 17, 18 years of our life are outsized in terms of how much they influence the rest of your life. There's no other 18 year period of your life that influences you as much as your first 18 years. Speaker 1 01:20:39 I, I doubt it. I mean, how could it, Speaker 10 01:20:41 Right. You're forming so much about who you are in those years and yeah. You change over the years, but most of it is formed in those 18 years. Speaker 1 01:20:51 Yeah. I was saying to Wendy, it's like, I don't know that I've glossed over them in my memories now of, you know, glowing golden family life. We certainly had our tensions and our moments and probably me more than anybody, but you know, it's still overwhelmingly good memories. Speaker 10 01:21:14 Yes. And in, in our core family of everybody that was here, there isn't one person in that group that I wouldn't mind spending lots of time with. I mean, I like everybody. I mean, I obviously love everybody, but I like everybody. And there's interesting things that I don't mind spending time with them when I have the chance. Speaker 1 01:21:34 No, it is weird that you can end up in any room in a chair next to one other person and it's fine. Yeah. Speaker 10 01:21:41 Yep. And there is no weirdness, like, okay, I'll put up with this weekend, but boy, I can't wait to get outta here. I never feel that way with any of these people. Speaker 1 01:21:48 No, I only do with two and I won't mention who they are. Okay. I made that up. Just, you know, it's my podcast. <laugh>, it's somewhat of a comedy podcast sometimes. Yes. So let's say that was false. Um, yeah. And was cool that everybody you can, we know what a priority it is because everyone came. Yes. And it wasn't easy for anybody's schedule. Nope. To be here these two or three days. Speaker 10 01:22:17 That's correct. And, and we gave people enough time, but still they're coming from a long ways or they got, you know, challenging family situations and stuff and they all got here. And um, Speaker 1 01:22:30 Yeah. Matthew said something about, you know, in this family, there's an expectation, but the cool thing is I hope we've learned that the expectation is also, uh, tempered by a desire to be there. Yes. No one wants to miss out. Speaker 10 01:22:47 Right? Yeah. Yeah. That's uh, kind of like, as the kids say, FOMO Speaker 1 01:22:53 <laugh>, is that what they Speaker 10 01:22:55 Say? Fear of missing out. Speaker 1 01:22:56 Oh, that's right. Speaker 10 01:22:57 Yes. Speaker 1 01:22:58 Yes. I thought it was something worse than that. <laugh> yeah. I always think it's something worse than that. So I don't know what that puts my mind. Mind. Yeah. So yeah, I was talking to mom about, you know, she doesn't remember too much of it now, but like she raised us three kids in this house. Speaker 10 01:23:18 Yes. Speaker 1 01:23:18 Pretty much on her own in the sixties kind of model while dad was the breadwinner. Speaker 10 01:23:25 And when you think about it, I always thought of ourselves as middle class. I think that we weren't that high. Speaker 1 01:23:33 No, <laugh> no. Speaker 10 01:23:35 I mean probably lower middle class. I mean, we had, you know, our friends were teachers, kids and stuff, and for those days, I mean, we didn't want for really anything. I don't think we had any great hardship. Um, Speaker 1 01:23:48 Well, and if we did, you know, mom fooled us into thinking that macaroni cheese was the greatest thing Speaker 10 01:23:53 Ever. Oh, oh yeah. Yeah. She, for someone who really didn't like to cook, I, we, as kids never had that sense. I don't think there was always a meal <laugh>, you know? Speaker 1 01:24:02 Well, and if there wasn't, there were cookies, so it made up for Speaker 10 01:24:05 It. Yeah. And other things we shall not mention that fed us <laugh>. Speaker 1 01:24:11 Yeah. But you know, she, it was us in her, in her, in this house so much of the time, not that dad was in anyway, an absent parent, but he was during the school week Speaker 10 01:24:23 And the breadwinner and then going off roughing or coaching or whatever. So yeah, he was gone a lot, Speaker 1 01:24:29 But I, I would say that as a family, we have, you know, relatively a lot fewer scars. Speaker 10 01:24:40 It seems to me like that. I mean, that's what I would say to, Speaker 1 01:24:45 I don't know if it's, cuz we tried to, or if we're also lovely human beings and we're so kind and considerate, I don't think I fit in that category. So that must not be it. I, I Speaker 10 01:24:56 Don't quite know what to attribute it to. I mean, our parents were both good ethical, loving people, but Speaker 1 01:25:05 Far from perfect. Speaker 10 01:25:07 Absolutely. Speaker 1 01:25:08 But I I've described at least dad to my friends who never met him or don't know him or don't know him now in is earlier incarnation was that he is exactly who he purports to be. Oh yeah. He's always, he walks the walk of who he is. I mean, sometimes that used to bug the hell out of me <laugh> cuz he doesn't get sattire or irony or Speaker 10 01:25:33 No. And he was the butt of many of our jokes that he really didn't even get, you know, <laugh> Speaker 1 01:25:38 Thankfully Speaker 10 01:25:40 I guess. And then mom kind of created her own path and much of her new her path was different after she got empty nested and she really blossomed yeah. In so many ways that was fun to watch for us. And, and I think she, I don't know how dad thought, I think dad reveled in it too. It's like, wow. I knew I had a catcher, but even more than I realized <laugh> Speaker 1 01:26:03 Yeah, yeah, no, she did have a very strong act too. Speaker 10 01:26:08 Yes. Yeah. Speaker 1 01:26:10 So yeah. So it's hard. I, you know, I was just talking to them and it's hard to reminisce when the memories fading and Speaker 10 01:26:18 The speech is going and yeah, I know. And yet I think they have a sense that the feeling of this place and that's how mom talks about it. I think it's like, it just feels like home. She likes the, just the, the ambiance feels good to her because it's all good memories. What she can pull up or she knows she can't remember the specifics, but she knows it's was primarily, mostly good. Speaker 1 01:26:44 Yeah. Speaker 10 01:26:46 Predominantly good. Speaker 1 01:26:47 Yeah. I tried to ask dad how, how he found this place. Not, you know, not <laugh> I don't know if he knows, do you know cuz you, Speaker 10 01:26:57 I really know and should have asked years ago Speaker 1 01:27:00 He said something about the daughter was selling the place and she needed to tell her mother about dad when they, when dad was interested. Oh really? And she did. And then it was really fast. Speaker 10 01:27:13 I wonder, was she a, a, had dad been her counselor? Speaker 1 01:27:17 No. No. I think it was more likely a fellow teacher. Okay. Someone who said this neighborhood's nice or we know someone who's moving, but he had a sense that it happened very quickly. Okay. And they didn't shop around much. They just Speaker 10 01:27:31 Jumped on this. Couldn't Speaker 1 01:27:32 Believe they found this house. And well, Speaker 10 01:27:34 All I knew it was, well, the family's name was Wilson. They, the father owned like the, one of the local standard gas station franchise. And they've had a chance to do one in Florida because there was some signage out in our shed when they left, it was standard oil or Speaker 1 01:27:48 Animal and in the basement shower. Speaker 10 01:27:51 Oh, that's right. It was the walls. Right. One, Speaker 1 01:27:54 The one wall was a standard oil sign. I Speaker 10 01:27:56 Think that ancient. And Speaker 1 01:27:58 That was a trashy shower. Speaker 10 01:28:00 Yeah. Back then it was, I forget the condition of this. The basement was drastically different. I mean, we made the change in about 10 years. It was very different. 10 years later from when we moved in, I can hardly remember the move in condition. Not that it was terrible. We had the bowling machine. That's all we cared about. The basement that's Speaker 1 01:28:16 <laugh> there was bowling machine in our basement when we moved in and it's still, Speaker 10 01:28:20 There <laugh> Speaker 1 01:28:21 Many hours of broken fingers and I don't, did anyone ever break a finger crushed fingers? A lot. Speaker 10 01:28:28 Probably when the thing came back, Speaker 1 01:28:29 The puck is like a metal, a metal hockey puck, Speaker 10 01:28:33 Little disc Speaker 1 01:28:34 And it yeah. Kicks Speaker 10 01:28:35 Back. That's the whole Speaker 1 01:28:36 Thing kicks back. Um, yeah. Dad actually remembered putting up the walls of this room. Speaker 10 01:28:41 Yeah. I, and I did we do it because Carlos was coming. Yeah. We needed another bedroom. Speaker 1 01:28:47 Okay. You and I shared upstairs till, till then, Speaker 10 01:28:52 Probably in 1974. Cuz I don't think I moved down here before then. Speaker 1 01:28:56 Yeah. So yeah. So, and then you and Carlo look at this how small it Speaker 10 01:29:00 Is. Yeah. We had two bedrooms and two dressers. Did we have a desk in here? Boy, I I'm not so sure. Speaker 1 01:29:06 Poor Carlos. I was thinking <laugh> even if he's from the poorest country in south America, he was not a poor Bivian Speaker 10 01:29:14 No, his father was a, was a lawyer soon to be a judge. I think even when he was here Speaker 1 01:29:18 And the chief justice of the Supreme court eventually eventually Speaker 10 01:29:22 Of Bolivia. Speaker 1 01:29:23 Yep. Yep. Um, but he shows up in like, this is where he gets to live in America. Our house. Speaker 10 01:29:30 Yeah. Except that on the whole America probably looked more prosperous than trying to figure out what Bolivia might have looked like in the seventies I could guess. But Speaker 1 01:29:39 Yeah. But I think he, he still came from like household help and uh Speaker 10 01:29:46 Right. Yeah. We didn't have household help. Speaker 1 01:29:50 He became one of the household help. Speaker 10 01:29:52 Yes. Speaker 1 01:29:53 Yeah. That was, yeah. I mean Carlos and not so much for you, but Beatrice, our other foreign student from Ghana, we big parts of this family when they were here. Speaker 10 01:30:04 Yep. And then they've kinda found their way back to us in some ways Beatrice never really disconnected. She keeps calling mom on her birthday and mother's day. Almost every year. Speaker 1 01:30:14 Yeah. Speaker 10 01:30:14 And uh, Carlos, we rediscovered much later on and now we taken, so Speaker 1 01:30:19 You were Beatrice was here when I was in college. Speaker 10 01:30:24 And was she here during Wendy's senior year or during Speaker 1 01:30:26 No Wendy's junior. Junior Speaker 10 01:30:27 Year. So it was so 70. So there was only a three year span between Carlos and when Beatrice came. Speaker 1 01:30:33 Yeah. But you and I didn't live here. Most Speaker 10 01:30:36 Of that. No. So we didn't know her as well. I mean, we came home enough that we got to meet her and holidays and stuff. And so we got to know the essence of Beatrice, I think. Speaker 1 01:30:45 Yeah. Her, her creatively, outside of the lines playing pounce techniques. Speaker 10 01:30:50 Ah yes. And uh, thinking she was gonna wear sandals in Minnesota. Winter. Speaker 1 01:30:55 Yeah. Speaker 10 01:30:56 That didn't last long. Speaker 1 01:30:57 No. So yeah. So now we think about dumping this place, dump this dump. Yeah. Speaker 10 01:31:06 And what you have to remind yourself is it was just a building that things happened in that. And it's like, anybody you remember where things happened, but it, you try to think it's not the place it's what happened and who had happened with, but still you can't separate the Speaker 1 01:31:22 Two. No. The, the sense memory is pretty strong when you walk into this place that he hits each of us kind of differently. But um, yeah. I keep quoting Delaney, but Delaney said, you know, I, I came in, she saw sippy cups that they used in the nineties that took her right back. But she's like, and then they realized it's not the thing. The thing doesn't matter. We, we still have the memories and we always have the memories, the things jog our memories and remind us, or bring us back. But they are not the memory. Speaker 10 01:31:59 No. So, so when you empty a house and sell it off eventually, is it that you're mourning that opportunity to have those memories triggered by the place? Speaker 1 01:32:11 At least partly for Speaker 10 01:32:12 Me. Yeah. Yeah. Speaker 1 01:32:15 I guess it's weird to not have a location in Brainard. Speaker 10 01:32:19 Right. And that may not feel totally weird until mom and dad are gone and then there's like nothing here <laugh>, you know? Speaker 1 01:32:28 Yeah. I mean, there's, it's not on the way to anybody anywhere. Speaker 10 01:32:32 Not much, not much Speaker 1 01:32:34 Or Speaker 10 01:32:35 So, but I, but I still feel like this place is a big part of my identity and that's fine. I mean, it should be, but that it won't physically belong to us. It's kind of what we went through. Well with like grandpa Luther. No, we don't. I've never had to do that with the grandma. Stangle some place cuz we still own it. <laugh> right. Speaker 1 01:32:55 But you know, driving the few times we've been back to central North Dakota and gone past grandpa's house. It's like Speaker 10 01:33:01 What? And it's pretty weird. Speaker 1 01:33:04 Well, it's been transformed a little bit now, but that'll that I think will be the weird thing is driving by here and somebody else lives here Speaker 10 01:33:11 And they will have changed some things probably more on the inside and down the line. I might say, gee, could I take a look inside and then go inside? And no, it's like, no, I shouldn't have done that. <laugh> Speaker 1 01:33:22 Yeah. Wendy was sort of of the opinion she goes, I don't know. I don't think I'll, I don't think I'll drive by Speaker 10 01:33:29 And that could, I mean, I don't, she won't have much opportunity to do that. Well and neither will you and I probably won't either. I mean, I'll still be going north hunting or going to Bemidji or some or places. And so I might, but it's real easy not to go by here too. So Speaker 1 01:33:48 Yeah. Well, as I say to dad, I think we got our $16,000 worth out of this place. Speaker 10 01:33:55 Yeah. That's what's, what's crazy. We pay more for our cars now, much more for our cars now, but that's what 50, 56 years does that Speaker 1 01:34:02 Guess? How much do you think the addition cost more than the house? Speaker 10 01:34:06 I have a sense that, and I think they were given the money to build it by grandpa Luther. Yes. And I'm thinking it was in the range. Maybe they supplemented maybe the, the number 5,000 comes to my mind and I'm not quite sure why. Speaker 1 01:34:20 Oh, I bet it was more than that. Speaker 10 01:34:22 Probably that, but maybe, you know, he, they had some that they could contribute, but that he gave them 5,000. And I don't know if over the years he maybe gave them more at other times. I'm not so sure Speaker 1 01:34:35 Karen's first impression of the place was what they don't have a garage <laugh> Speaker 10 01:34:41 Yeah. And I think I found somewhere where the GRA it was like 82 or something, you know, she wasn't around until 77, 78 and yeah. A place with no garage, which even in this area was pretty unusual. Even if they had just a single car garage, almost all of 'em had that Speaker 1 01:34:58 Be stupid in Minnesota. Speaker 10 01:35:00 I know. But we had the bamboo tree Speaker 1 01:35:02 And the crab apple tree. Speaker 10 01:35:04 Yes. Speaker 1 01:35:05 Which was pretty when it was in bloom and then the pain in the, as the rest of the time. Yes. Although we did make, we mom made crab, apple jelly, Speaker 10 01:35:14 A lot of it. Yeah. Speaker 1 01:35:15 Which was pretty much sugar and a couple of those very, very, very sour crab apples. Speaker 10 01:35:22 Yep. So, and the bamboo tree kept us quite entertained at times through the Speaker 1 01:35:26 Summer. It's true. Bee catching Speaker 10 01:35:28 Bee catching. Yes. Speaker 1 01:35:29 The Bamboo's growing in the back. Have you seen that? Oh Speaker 10 01:35:32 Yeah. Yeah. Might might take over the Creek valley eventually. Speaker 1 01:35:36 Yeah. A bamboo tree in this climate zone. Doesn't seem, there's something wrong about that picture, but we inherited Speaker 10 01:35:44 It. Wasn't and there's a little clump still, although it's not thriving very well up ATSM cuz we planted some up there. Speaker 1 01:35:50 <laugh> that's hard to imagine. <laugh> yeah. I mean it always, it's never grown more than three feet tall there Speaker 10 01:35:55 Hasn't I don't think so. I don't. And it hasn't expanded like the one down here. Yeah. So, Speaker 1 01:36:02 Uh, so, well you and you and I are the last two here on Memorial day, 20, 22, digging through shelves, Speaker 10 01:36:14 A lot of memories <laugh> well, and things I didn't even know about. I mean, you just, you find out a little bit more about your parents and you start digging through their old stuff. Speaker 1 01:36:25 Well, it's not even about just the parents. It's all the auxiliary. Yeah. You know, there's many, many rabbit holes, pretty much in every room we could go down here. Yeah. And somehow we have to figure out how to empty it all out and put it someplace. Speaker 10 01:36:41 Yep. And what things do we keep and what things do we get rid of? And that's Speaker 1 01:36:45 Hard. I think everybody has that dilemma. If they've have a family with memories and documents and photos, it's what Speaker 10 01:36:56 It's kind of a good problem. I mean, as opposed to some families that they probably just wanna put a match the whole place and yeah. Burn it down. But Speaker 1 01:37:04 It feels weird to throw out photos of people that you just don't know who they Speaker 10 01:37:08 Are. I know. Yep. Speaker 1 01:37:10 And you, the people who could tell you aren't here anymore Speaker 10 01:37:13 Or they can't remember, Speaker 1 01:37:14 Or those people, no one ever knew when it's a random photo. But so that's, I think that's the, I don't know. We're pretty sentimental people and uh, Speaker 10 01:37:26 We are, even though we're a Norwegian German. Speaker 1 01:37:30 Yeah. It doesn't seem right. Speaker 10 01:37:31 I know Speaker 1 01:37:32 We're we have to do one of those DNA tests and see where we, we got the weepy factor. I don't Speaker 10 01:37:39 Know. Maybe we're Italian or something, Speaker 1 01:37:42 Do they weep? Speaker 10 01:37:43 I don't know, but they're very expressive. Speaker 1 01:37:44 Oh, that's true. So yes. Uh, but yeah, I think actually we've become, as we've gone, our separate ways, we've become more, um, maybe more expressive, more than Speaker 10 01:37:56 Absolutely Speaker 1 01:37:57 Emotional. Speaker 10 01:37:58 We didn't, we didn't hug growing up. Speaker 1 01:38:01 No, I forgot that because now like I'm a theater folk and we, we just hugged Speaker 10 01:38:05 People that, and that kind of became that because everybody except dad became theater folk, but then he kind of, he liked that cuz in some ways he maybe is more emotional than any of the rest of us. Speaker 1 01:38:15 If Joe Plott, hadn't been the mad hugger dad might have tried to be, well, maybe not that crazy, but yeah, we, I think also be when you don't see each other all the time, you have to make the most out of yep. Your time together. Speaker 10 01:38:29 But being in theater, you kind of go, you know what? It's okay to hug another Speaker 1 01:38:33 Well. And it's kind of like, okay, we got three weeks better get to know each other now. Yep. And um, yeah. And you're, you have to have your emotions available to you as a performer, so yeah. Yeah. Brainerd 15, 10 south seventh. Yeah. Speaker 10 01:38:54 In a good place. Speaker 1 01:38:57 Yeah. My saying is it's a kind of shitty house and it was a great home. <laugh> Speaker 10 01:39:03 That's a great way of putting it. Speaker 1 01:39:06 All right. Ran. Speaker 10 01:39:08 All right, Sean, Speaker 1 01:39:10 Thanks for appearing on Chicago musician Speaker 10 01:39:14 And that I got to have be the anchor Speaker 1 01:39:17 Leg. The final word do you have? Oh yeah. Lay on some, some older brother wisdom as, as a parting thought, Speaker 10 01:39:28 You know, it makes me think about, okay, what am I leaving behind for my children that I could take care of in my lifetime while I still have all my faculties about them, because I need to do that for their sake. So they don't have to go through this same exercise to this degree. Speaker 1 01:39:46 You're very kind <laugh> Speaker 10 01:39:48 On the doesn't mean Speaker 1 01:39:49 It'll happen on the other hand, I've seen your house lately. Speaker 10 01:39:52 Yeah. Okay. Speaker 1 01:39:53 You have, you have a high mountain to climb. Yes we do. But it's a good goal to have it is. I have a lot of shit in my house and I'm not giving any of it away, but I've, I've decided to label it. So like the nieces and nephews will know they're throwing out something from Bolivia or Japan or China. Speaker 10 01:40:11 Oh, oh. I thought you were talking about putting a name on it, so you'd stick them with it. You know Speaker 1 01:40:14 Like, oh no, well, no, <laugh> no, just a clue. A clue to where it was, Speaker 10 01:40:20 What it was. Speaker 1 01:40:21 Okay. Where it came from. Okay. Not if it, I suppose, not even if it's valuable, just where was it from? And you guys throw it out cuz I'm not going to Speaker 10 01:40:30 All Speaker 1 01:40:30 Right. And that's Chicago musician, the home edition as always make your way over to best Sean Speaker 11 01:40:40 Stle.com my home website Speaker 1 01:40:43 To find links to Sean's photos, Speaker 11 01:40:45 Which will have a gallery specifically dedicated to Chicago musician. Uh there's video of all the interviewees and Speaker 1 01:40:53 Lots more CX time. It's weird. Right. And that's good. Good chat. It's kind of fun to just, yeah. I like the unscripted. Yes. Part of just going where you go. All right. Alright. I gotta fix, I gotta finish that. Um, that box you're working on.